im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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