just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
