He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize