Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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