I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
