Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
