i was born a porn star she said
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
