I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You did what with his pubic hair?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
