i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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