i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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