so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
then he tried to convert me to islam
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
ttyl tear gas
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
