So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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