She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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