I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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