I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
