did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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