While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
