He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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