I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
