Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
