he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Drunk is a universal language darling
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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