you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize