Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
