my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
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