I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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