Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
