it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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