i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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