I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
