you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
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He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
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