My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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