dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
