I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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