I'm gonna have a badass scar
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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