idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
