We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
