i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
