Jerry, you need to find god
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize