When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Randomize
