I got her a Nickelback box set.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
