the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
