you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
