I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
