After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
