Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
