But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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