so explain again why im purple
no
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
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he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
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He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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