great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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