now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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