out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
