I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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