I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
