so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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