why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize