tell your sister to shave her snatch
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
