Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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