sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He better not be in your backpack
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
