Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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