I showed him my bush... on skype.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
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The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
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He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.