The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before